View More Fun
Funny
NEW
View More Fun
Funny
NEW

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Punjab Developement

Once all Sardarji’s clubed together and decided to develop Punjab and they
wanted the Punjab as a Developed State.

Each of them started giving suggestions … finally one great Sardarji gave
a suggestion with a huge volume “Lets fight with Indian Government, get
freedom from India then, Declare war on America…. We will be definitely
defeated by America and we shall be the part of the America and then they
will obviously develop our punjab also”….

“Wow” the crowd cheered up….. there was at last a thin voice asking ……..


“What about if we win ?”

Thursday, February 22, 2007

UP Jokes

A U.P. Botanist?
Agni-hot-tree.

a son of 2 fathers .. Dvivedi
of 3 fathers .. Trivedi
of 4 fathers .. Chaturvedi
of 5 fathers .. Pandey
of several fathers .. Misra
of unknown parentage .. Gupta

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Typical Indian

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : " Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her ."

An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: "Take an elephant of negligible weight"

Instructor: "Take a copper wire of any metal...and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape."

"Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body"

He/she's my cousin brother/sister.

"You three, both of you kneel down together separately"

"Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside"

"I have to put my child to sleep"

" Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. "

" Don't talk bad in front of my back "

Did you cut the ticket, yet?

"Entry too entry otherwise disentry"

The principal just passed away.

Who took out the breeze of my cykill.

My cykill is understanding the tree.

Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in"!

"Open the doors of the window, and let the atmosphere come in "

10 Rules for Bollywood Film Making

1. Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).

2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.

5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.

7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).

8. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.

9. Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.

10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax

Monday, February 12, 2007

Beautiful wife

A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:
"Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de" (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees)

At once her husband told her: "de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!" (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)

Sardar And Indian Flag

Santa singh goes to a shop to buy Indian flag.
The shopkeeper gives him a Indian flag.
Santa singh looks at it for a while and says something.
What does he say?
-
-
-
Do you have anyother color in this ???

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sardar's Son at Medical School

Bantasingh : I am so proud of my son. He is at medical school.

Santasingh : Whatt is he studying ?

Banta : Oh he is not studying. They r studying him !

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Mallu in kerala

Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
Related Posts with Thumbnails